I’ve had some crappy bosses in my day. There was the megalomaniacal business owner who literally screamed and ranted if the slightest thing went wrong. This guy employed his wife for no other reason I could see than so he could berate her about their personal life all day long. And then there was the boss who killed morale by gossiping about each and every person in the company. Her excuse? “I’m the head of PR. I have to know what’s going on!” (Ha! Nice try, though.)

Those were some pretty terrible bosses, but at least those bosses weren’t like the worst boss of all. The Mother Boss, we’ll call her. She worked me into the ground, didn’t give me any vacation time, and sometimes wouldn’t even let me stop working for breaks. She criticized all my work and generally just made my working life a living hell.

You’ve probably guessed it already. The Mother Boss was me.

Yes, I wasn’t a very good boss to myself for a long time. I kept an eagle eye on the bottom line of the balance sheet and pushed my only employee to maintain that line at all costs, without any thought to her creative fulfillment, happiness or health. I was Glenn Close (oops!) Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada only without all the fuzzy life lessons about the color cerulean.

It took me a long time (this year, in fact) to realize that if this Mother Boss was a separate person I would have written her an unprintable email of resignation a long time ago.

So how did realize that I was a bad boss to myself?

1.) I looked around. Other freelancers and small business people were working just as hard as I was, it’s true, but they were also talking about things like work-life balance and spending time with their families.

2.) I burned out. This probably isn’t the best way to learn a lesson, but sometimes people just need tough love. I was tired, drained and not feeling like I was making any headway in my business. I knew something had to give.

3.) I started charging more. This satisfied the balance sheet hawk in me and I actually found myself getting more jobs that I enjoy. Apparently many clients really do believe in “you get what you pay for” and don’t want a freelancer who does not value her services. Thankfully, my old clients stayed with me, too.

4.) I reevaluated. This is the most important step of all. I realized (again, from networking with other freelancers and business owners) that I’m not in this entirely for the money. I’m also in it for the sense of purpose and freedom that owning a business brings. The Mother Boss, on the other hand, was only concerned with the balance sheet.

Sometimes I tend to fall back into my Mother Boss ways, especially in times of extreme feast or famine. When I do, I try to take a break and turn the Mother Boss off for awhile. What am I doing all this for anyway if it isn’t so that I can have lunch with my husband or spend 15 minutes in the morning dangling the cat’s mousy toy in front of her nose? It’s a mighty struggle, but hopefully I will soon have banished my very last bad boss.

How about you guys? How do you handle yourself when you are being a wayward employee? And I’d love to hear any boss horror stories. I had another who, while very nice, actually thought he had to train employees on how to turn on and turn off a light switch. Who can top that, huh?