Today’s guest post is written by my good friend Vanessa Knauf. Vanessa and I met in graduate school and I like to think I inspired her to go for a freelance writing career.  So just let me live with that fantasy, okay? And, as you can see from this guest post, Vanessa is going about freelance writing more hilariously than I ever did.

Who’s the Boss?

No, it’s not Tony Danza–it’s me! Or so I’m starting to realize as I forge into the exciting world of freelance writing. I’m not entirely comfortable with being the boss, as I have always sought to undermine authority. During college, I always spent a good percentage of my minimum wage jobs goofing off: taking five too many five minute breaks, giving my friends free food, and sweeping the dirt under the rug. But now, as I take on the role of bossing myself around, I find undermining my authority to be counterproductive.

If I take too many breaks, or I don’t keep my records straight and my calendar organized, I lose money. And nobody is paying me a minimum wage salary to make up for it. I try complaining to my friends: “The boss man’s got me working 10 hours a day. I barely get a lunch break!” I say. Then they remind me that I am the boss man.

Well, if I’m the boss, I guess I can take the day off and take the dogs to the park, right? As long as I don’t mind having a small freelance business that doesn’t even cover my rent. But how do I kick my butt into gear and tell my subversive self that I can’t have a two hour lunch break?

I recently saw the movie Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (probably watched it when I should have been working), and I realized that I could learn a lot from Zaphod Beeblebrox, who has two heads for his two disparate personalities. One head is for more responsible and sensible thinking and the other is for his trouble-making urges.

If I’m going to be successful at this writing for myself gig, I’ve got to have two heads about me: a boss-head and a trouble-making-head. Now, if I can just keep my trouble-making-head doped up on sleeping pills, I should be able to get some work done around here.

Vanessa Knauf has a master’s in writing from Kennesaw State University and alternates between writing Web content and short fiction. Visit www.VanessaKnauf.com to view more of her work.

Like what Vanessa just did there? Well, Life and Times is always open to new guest posters. We love to hear from new freelancers just getting their feet wet or experienced writers who have a few old tricks to share. Contact Jenn for more information on guest posting.